


Guilt

by egosoffire



Category: Doctor Strange (2016), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Guilt, M/M, PTSD, Post-Endgame, Trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-14
Updated: 2019-04-14
Packaged: 2020-01-13 02:29:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,140
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18459593
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/egosoffire/pseuds/egosoffire
Summary: The war is over and they won, but the costs are high and Tony Stark is overwhelmed by guilt when Peter is checked into a hospital for PTSD.





	Guilt

Tony stepped out of the hospital and walked straight into Stephen Strange. The wizard caught him in his arms, holding as tightly to Tony as he could manage. Tony wanted to resist, to wriggle his way out of the hug, but found that he did not have the strength.

He fought for a moment, but finally sagged into the rigid embrace.

“How is he, Tony?” Stephen asked, his voice a bit above a whisper.

“He will be staying for thirty days,” Tony muttered. “His aunt thinks it’s best, and even though he wasn’t too together, I think Pete agrees too. He needs the quiet, the ability to recuperate before he goes back into the world…”

“What about his secrets?”

“The doctors are all on my payroll,” Tony explained, pulling back enough to look into Stephen’s crystal gaze. “The whole staff is. Nobody is going to reveal a thing. The kid has PTSD, Stephen. Eighteen years old, PTSD and it’s my fucking fault.”

“Tony, it’s not your fault,” Stephen murmurs, letting go only to brush his fingers over Tony’s cheek. “Rates of mental health issues have skyrocketed in the Decimation’s wake and then… the Return. This event was excruciating. He will recover from this, in time. I can promise you that, but what he went through was too much for anyone’s psyche…”

“I’m the one who brought him into this,” Tony snapped. “I brought him into this world because I firmly believed that I couldn‘t handle Steve Rogers on my own. I dragged him into this lifestyle, and then I ended up taking him to space with me.”

“First,” Stephen announced, the word calm to Tony’s chaos. He let go of his body, but reached out and took his hand, clasping it, “Peter was already fighting crime before you two met. He was a child who fell into an extraordinary circumstance. His heart wouldn’t let him have those abilities without using them. Second, Peter made the choice to follow you, because he believed in you. He still believes in you.”

“He shouldn’t.”

Anger flared in Stephen’s eyes for a moment, but it faded as soon as it appeared. “I saw this,” he murmured. “I saw the trauma it would lead to, yet I had to make that choice anyway, for the better of the universe. I saw that this would hurt, but it was the only way we left with our lives, with the ability to live through the pain…”

“He’s hurt and tired and scared…”

“So are you.” Stephen paused and looked into Tony’s eyes for a long moment. He did not want the other man to think he was judging. “Tony, Peter’s a lucky kid. He’s open and vulnerable enough to face his trauma. You know that you and I both repressed ours until we couldn’t access it…”

Tony nodded. Stephen’s words had merit, as much as he wanted to deny them. He was guilty of hiding his emotions, gagging them until they died. Peter was in a psychiatric hospital, surrounded by people who would help him, love him. He was embracing his need for help. 

“We all need that kind of help,” he murmured.

Stephen laid a hand on Tony’s shoulder. “I know it’s scary,” he stated, “but just wait until that boy gets out. We will make sure he knows he’s home.”

-

Thirty days trickled by slowly, but they were not without event. Tony never stopped being Tony Stark. He funded the recovery effort, the mental health funds, the infrastructure rebuilding. During this time, he also grew very close to one Doctor Strange.

“Nice speech,” Stephen said with a grin, as Tony walked off of the stage, dressed impeccably. He’d had to have his favorite suit taken into account for the weight he’d lost. He looked gross in his opinion, but hey, at least the good doc was still checking him out. Stephen looked him over once, realized Tony had caught him and looked away. “Well stated, Mr. Stark.”

“You think so?” Tony asked. “I mean, I gotta trust your judgement, don’t I?”

It felt wrong, flirting, trying to get back to a normal life while Peter was hurting. He wanted to do something, anything for the child, who felt like a son to him in every way except blood. He wanted to ease this pain.

“You do,” Stephen replied, with the nerves of a kid asking their date to prom. He looked at Tony’s lips and then back down to the ground. “Tony, am I... am I missing some cues here? I was never too good with people and interacting outside of the hospital and now, after all I’ve seen I’m kind of hopeless and…”

“Do you wanna kiss me, Doc?”

Stephen nodded.

Tony smiled and then stood on his toes, closing the gap between their lips. He kissed Stephen lightly, but with the earnest nature of a man who should have died a thousand times over.

When the kiss ended, brief but special, Stephen pulled back and looked into his eyes. “Tony Stark,” he murmured. “I saw so many possible futures, and I followed your path through all... I found loss, death, and defeat. I also found something else.”

“Oh yeah?”

“I fell in love with you. I promise, things will be okay from here on out.”

-

Peter arrived at Tony’s at five, after being released from the hospital at four. Tony found himself face to face with a sheepish, but smiling Aunt May and Peter behind her, his own smile ridiculously wide.

“Hey there kiddo,” he said. “What are you doing in my neck of the woods?”

“It’s been a month, Mr. Stark,” Peter said, bouncing on his toes. “I’ve missed you so much, and I wanted to let you know that I’m out and okay…”

Stephen stepped into the room at that moment. He was wearing Tony’s bathrobe, having just come out of the shower. “Hello there, Peter,” he said with a warm smile. “Trust me, he knew you were getting out today. He’s been counting down the days. I'd say he didn‘t sleep at all last night.”

Peter’s eyes went wide.

“Really?” he asked. “Are you two…? I knew there was something between you…”

“How could you…” Tony said, trailing off. Peter was a smart kid. It didn’t matter how limited his interaction with them together truly was, or how critical the time was; of course he knew. “Of course you did. How... how are you?”

“Honestly, I’m good.” The reply came instantly. “I know it seems like I might not be, but that was what I needed. The quiet… the not getting ‘back to normal’ right away. It was a great move.”

Tony then pulled the kid into a hug. Peter made a soft sound and chuckled, launching himself into the hug and erasing at least some guilt that plagued him. 


End file.
